im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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