i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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