My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
