He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
