and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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