The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i was born a porn star she said
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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