its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
