We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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