Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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