champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
