Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you didnt know i had herpes?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
