i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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