Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
