this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
How does one acquire holy water?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
