i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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