I can text with my tongue
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
