Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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