I wanna bring you to show and tell
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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