If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
