The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
