awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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