So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
