We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
