It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
