You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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