You're a womanizer and a bitch.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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