thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
