so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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