he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
