Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
