so explain again why im purple
no
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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