I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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