Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
