you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We left the knife in your bed.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
