Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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