You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
