Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I pour the whiskey from now on
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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