She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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