His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
