Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
