I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
