i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
