I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
