I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
