it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
