I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
