I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
