I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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