Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
sex in a hospital.. check
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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