**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
babies were throwing up all over the place
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
where are my eyebrows?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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