I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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