I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
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