I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
