is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
